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“Fucking blood test,” I said, “Not a fucking ten mile run!” “Twenty five more like,” Al agreed.

“Oh, ah right.” he says, “I just hope you two idiots are clean drugs wise!” he says, “Anyway the tester is Mr Graythwaite and you are both studying Sociology, if he asks.” “Engineering,” I says, “I ain’t no shirtlifter!” “No,” Al says, “Sociology is what the dumb blondes do.” “So you fucking do it,” I said, “I’ll be the next Adrian Newry and you can be fucking forgotten.” “Gentlemen,” Lionel says forgetting himself, “I mean Lads, Sociology and Engineering, its fine,” he said because he thought we would be fucking crap at running.

“Where the fuck does it say we can’t run in a fucking council boiler suit?” I asked.

“Why not, fucking Suzanne went a kip when I was in fucking mid fuck,” I explained.

Anyway we set off, the crowd cheered and me team mates led for the first hundred yards until all that training kicked in and their knees buckled and they slowed down to jog with the other fuckers, and still the fuckers cheered and waved the fucking Chinese made Union Jack flags, thousands of fuckers there were cheering and that lining the street ten deep or so, anyway no one wanted a chat so I jogged around on me own, there was a black bloke I thought I recognised but he reckoned he never been to Weatherfield, so I jogged along with him and his mates for a bit.

Them black blokes was taking the piss, it weren’t what I call running, sort of loping along instead of getting stuck in so it weren’t long before I caught up and then there was such a fucking big gap in front we couldn’t even see the other fuckers, I just stuck with the bunch of lads until I got bored, “Fuck it,” I said and gave it a bit of welly.

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Fucking TV pulled into a close up shot so they couldn’t see we was fucking as we bounced around, “Are you looking forward to the medal ceremony later, he asked.”To be fucking honest,” I said, “The fucking national anthem is crap and either you uses a brass band playing it or I’ll fuck off home.
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